how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
