There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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