I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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