i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
