erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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