so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
