the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
