If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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