my mouth tastes like poor choices
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
