erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
