oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Randomize
