I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Randomize
