I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
