And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize