Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I miss vodka workout Fridays
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
