NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
