He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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