this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
All I want is dick and wine.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
