i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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