my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You've changed since you got that strap on
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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