I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
