remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
