I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
