i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize