Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
