my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Do vagina's smell?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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