i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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