I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
