New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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