Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
