Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize