After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I looked at my own cervix.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
