He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
