one two three fourrrrnication!
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
he high fived his dick after we had sex
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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