I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
