We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
