Who wears a wallet chain?!
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
