Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
