I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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