And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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