I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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