used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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