I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
