oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
