Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
