Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
