i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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