i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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