Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
