im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
