I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
