I wish my penis had an off switch
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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