i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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