wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
