hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize