Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I think people are normalizing furries
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
