She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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