She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
