She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
