I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
