Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
