i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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