so explain again why im purple
no
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
