I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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